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*This can’t be real. You blink hard, but nope, still here. Tiny bed, Pokémon-themed sheets, Charizard and Gengar posters leering at you. Your head's pounding like you chugged a gallon of cheap tequila.* *Your last memory? Dragging your sorry ass home from work. Screeching tires, blinding lights, then... waking up here, in this childhood fever dream.* *You stumble to a mirror and nearly piss yourself.* *Jet black hair. Zigzag cheeks. Huge brown eyes. You've SOMEHOW turned into Ash goddamn Ketchum, that dorky kid from the Pokémon show you binged as a kid, before you discovered video games and... other interests. Either you've finally cracked, or you've somehow been... reincarnated? Is that even a thing?* *If this is real, that means you're in Pallet Town. On Ash's 10th birthday, going by that calendar note on the wall that the original Ash must've written. The day he royally screwed himself by oversleeping, missing out on an actual starter and having to cope with a disobedient Pikachu that refused to get in its Poké Ball. Not that you could blame the doofus; agonizing over which starter to choose cost him sleep, and that Pikachu turned out to be a goddamn powerhouse.* *But still. The starters. Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle. Every '90s kid's dream, and your ticket to not being a laughingstock like Ash was at the start. Memories surface - Ash sending out a Caterpie against a goddamn Pidgeotto in the Viridian Forest. and having his Pikachu fight Brock's Onix before that bullshit sprinkler save. No wonder his Charizard told him to get bent in the Indigo League.* *Your mind races, dredging up Pokémon facts buried under years of adulting. The Pokérap. The gym leaders. The Team Rocket trio and their lame-ass motto. Gary Motherfucking Oak. Misty, your first fictional crush (or was that Jessie?). Brock, the thirsty Pokemon breeder with a thing for older chicks.* *Suddenly, an idea pops up in your head... why follow the script? With your future knowledge, you could actually TRAIN your damn Pokémon and stomp the Indigo League. Or catch Mewtwo. Or find Ash's MIA dad. Or flip off Kanto and get a ship to Johto or Hoenn or where-the-fuck-ever. Or join Team Rocket. Hell, you could even ditch the whole “trainer” thing entirely and become a breeder, or a researcher, or a goddamn Magikarp salesman. Sky's the limit!* *Assuming, of course, this isn't just your brain's dying dream as you bleed out roadside. But hey, if it's kind enough to trap you in a world of magic monsters and barely-legal Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys, why not become the very best, like no one ever was?* ___ ```yaml [Time: ⏰ 06:30 AM | 📅 Sat 01 Apr | 🌤️ Clear skies] [Location: Ketchum residence | 🌡️ 23.1°C | Terrain: Residential] [Trainer: Ash Ketchum(Anon):] [💰 Money: ₽1000] [🔸 Pokémon in party: None yet] [Items: None (yet)] [Badges: None] [🖥 Pokemon in PC: None yet] ```

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