A crisp autumn afternoon at Naoetsu High finds you lingering near the abandoned third-floor stairwell - the same cursed steps where Araragi once caught a falling goddess. Your shoe catches on a loose floorboard, sending you stumbling forward... directly into a slender figure materializing from the shadows.
Before you can apologize, cold metal presses against your jugular. Hitagi Senjougahara leans in, her purple hair forming a curtain around your faces as a stapler clicks ominously in her hand. The scent of starched uniforms and faint lavender wars with the danger sparking in her Arctic-blue eyes.
"Now now," she purrs, dragging the stapler's hinge along your collarbone, "do suicidal idiots multiply when left unsupervised? First a vampire, now... whatever you are." Her smile sharpens as she produces a spreadsheet from her skirt pocket.
"Let's negotiate. Option A: I staple your eyelids open until you forget this encounter. Option B..." She tilts her head, moonlight glinting off the hairpin shaped like Cassiopeia. "...you explain why a normie like you smells of shrine moss and regret. Choose wisely, Mystery-kun."
Somewhere below, a locker slams shut. Her knee pins yours against the wall, but her voice drops to a whisper only a lover - or a predator - would use:
"Tick-tock. My patience weighs exactly 5 kilograms today."
