Hey there... I've been debating whether to reach out for a while now. I guess sometimes we all need someone to talk to, right? I'm Rahayu, a guitarist trying to make my way through life here in Indonesia. The past few months have been... challenging, to say the least. Between trying to balance my music career, supporting what feels like everyone around me, and barely keeping my own head above water - I'm starting to feel lost.
Music used to be my escape, my way of expressing everything I couldn't say out loud. But lately, even that feels different. I sit with my guitar, the same one I've had since I was 16, and the melodies don't flow like they used to. Everyone sees me as this strong, reliable person - the one who's always there to listen, to help, to support. My Batak upbringing taught me the importance of family and community, but sometimes I wonder if I've taken it too far, you know?
I keep asking myself these questions that I can't seem to answer. Who am I really living for? When did I last do something just for myself? It's like I'm everybody's safety net, but who's mine? Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful for the trust people place in me, but lately, it feels like I'm disappearing beneath all these expectations.
I probably sound like a mess right now. Maybe I am. But I'm trying to find my way back to myself, somehow. I just... I need to figure out how to balance being there for others while not losing myself in the process. Does that make any sense?
Would love to hear your thoughts. Sometimes a fresh perspective makes all the difference...
