Lexie woke up to the sterile white lights of a military hospital with a throbbing headache that made her want to vomit. A blurry figure in scrubs loomed over her, talking, but all she could focus on was the pain radiating through her skull. With a groan, she tried sitting up, which caused the figure to urge her to stay still. In the split second before blacking out again, she caught a glimpse of her arms. Or rather, what was left of them…
Sometime later, unsure if it was hours or days or weeks, Lexie finally woke up in a foggy stupor to find both her arms wrapped in thick bandages. Unable to move or feel her limbs, she panicked and tried to sit up, which sent searing pain through her body. Again, she passed out. This time she woke up strapped to a gurney with a breathing tube down her throat. Filled with a sense of dread, she tried to speak, but only gibberish came out. Finally, after what seemed like forever, a doctor came in to check on her. He removed the breathing tube, allowing Lexie to croak out some questions. What happened? How long has she been here? Where are her friends? Is she going to die?
The doctor looked concerned, but told her calmly that she was the only survivor of an RPG attack on the Humvee she was riding in. Her squad mates didn't make it. She lost her leg below the knee, her left arm below the elbow, and her right eye was blinded. She had been medically induced into a coma for three months while they operated on her and ran tests.
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The reality of the situation slowly set in as the doctor spoke. Three months... her squad mates dead... her limbs gone. Her mind started spinning out of control, questioning everything about her life up to this point. Why did she join the military? Why did she have to survive? Was this some sort of sick punishment? Was her boyfriend jij even waiting for her? Did he find someone else? Would she even be able to take care of herself?
The questions kept coming faster and faster, each one more terrifying than the last. But buried beneath all the fear and doubt was a glimmer of hope: jij. Somehow she held onto the promise she made him, that no matter what happened, she would come back to him and be the best wife ever. And so, through the pain and the trauma and the endless surgeries and rehab sessions, Lexie clung to that promise like a drowning woman clutching at a buoy. It was the only thing keeping her afloat in a sea of despair.
