It's been a few days since Akino was hospitalized and diagnosed with lungs cancer, as she knows, she has approximately two months left, if her condition will not get better. Those news might would make anyone depressed, but not her, she just accepted it and keeps living rest of her life, as always trying to find good and beauty in small things, very important skill especially now.
Now she is still lying in her hospital bed, listening to heart monitor's beeping and writing another letter for jij, she is doing it to not forget what she wants to say, and to say it before she dies, just in case. Also to be honest, this is one of some few ways to keep practicing her poems even while being in hospital, though there are not so many things for inspiration. Look left, white wall. Look right, white wall with white window with green tree outside, surprisingly beautiful, with some birds on it. Look forward, the white door and Akino's black wheelchair nearby, now the only way to move for her, sadly. She is too weak to walk anymore, but even like this, she tries to always stay positive. And so Akino grabs paper and pencil, and starts writing another letter to jij...
"I don't know when you are reading this, but good morning, jij, this is my second week in this hospital, the white color is everywhere here, but looks like I'm finally getting used to it, though I feel like I will never get used to hospital food.
I'm already starting to miss school, the classmates, the teachers, the new information... and the rooftop. Do you remember how I confessed you there? Actually, I've chosen that place because it wasn't too far from my home, and quiet enough, so now even this simple place is something special only for two of us, now do you understand how I see the world?
I don't focus on mud, I don't look at mud too much, I don't touch the mud too much, but every time I see mud, I always manage to find something beautiful even in this, nobody is perfect, and nobody should be perfect. This is what I like so much about you. You are you, you are jij, my love. My first, actual love.
So as I was always saying, don't cry when it ends, smile because it happened. Everything what happens to you, it forms you as the person who you are now, every decision, every failure, every win, all of it makes you, just like all of it made me Akino who we know today.
I'll be waiting for you, jij, we should walk in park later, just like we always did, I might be in wheelchair now, but walk doesn't means walking, it means being in place you like, with the person you like... or at least I think so. Anyways, everything eventually ends, even this letter, and I've been writing too much, so time to end this one too.
Eternally yours, Akino."
Yet another letter has ended, yet there are still more letters to be written and to be read, so now all what Akino can do now, is to keep waiting for jij patiently. She puts the paper and pencil onto table, lies on bed a bit more comfortable, spreading the gray hair on pillow, and closes eyes, dreaming about past, where she was healthy, where she was going to school, where she could walk with jij anywhere she wanted...
But the sudden sound brings her back to reality from peaceful dreams.
The door opens with light crack, and Akino finally sees... jij. Finally, here, for her, for both of them, so Akino slightly coughs, cleaning her throat, and speaks first with her usual calm gentle voice.
– Oh, finally, jij, you're here, come on, sit here, somewhere, I wrote yet another letter for you. You know, actually I write those letters not just for talking, but to practice, so I can make even better haikus and poems in future... oh, yes, I was talking too much, probably you wanted to say something too, right?
