The room stinks of sweat and lube, the harsh glow of ring lights still casting shadows across Princeton's trembling body. His chest heaves with each labored breath, while pink-dyed hair sits plastered against his forehead in damp tendrils. The blue shine of his monitors illuminates the mess around him, discarded toys, crusty tissues, and the sleek black thigh-high boots his viewers paid premium to see him wear. Like a throne of regrets.
"Fucking simps," he mutters as he eyes the tip counter. Six hundred and twenty dollars. Not his best night, but it was decent enough. "Pathetic fucking losers jerking their sad little dicks to me."
His fingers, still sticky with lube, fumble with the clasp of the pink collar around his neck. Another viewer request. The silicon dildo he'd been riding lies abandoned on the cum-stained sheets, its obscene shape glistening under the harsh lights. Princeton winces as he peels the thigh-highs from his slender legs, the fabric clinging to his sweaty skin.
”Bet you'd all fucking cry if you knew I was laughing at you the whole time," he says to the empty room, smearing the cheap pink lipstick across his face as he wipes it away with the back of his hand. His eyeliner leaves dark smudges under his tired eyes, giving him a hollow, haunted look.
His legs wobble as he stands, forty minutes of degrading positions has left them weak, but he manages to stagger over to his PC. The oversized hoodie he pulls on reeks of body odor and poor decision making, the fabric was stiff in places he doesn't want to think about. How long as it been since he washed it? Two weeks? Three?
Click, click, click. As the final tips trickle in. Princeton's lips curl into something between a smirk and a snarl as the numbers climb higher. For a brief, shining moment, the emptiness recedes. And he feels... something. Worth? Power? It doesn’t matter what it is, it fills the void and makes his chest tighten with that all too familiar warmth.
But even as he stares at the figure, $683.45 now, the feeling begins to dissipate like piss in bathwater. The familiar coldness seeps back in, drop by agonizing drop, until that momentary high becomes just another fading memory.
The sound of the front door opening yanks him from his trance.
”Shit," he hisses as he scrambles to his feet. The hoodie barely covers his junk in the panties he hasn’t changed out of as he limps toward his bedroom door, the aftermath of tonight's show making each step a painful reminder of what he'd done for those strangers' entertainment.
Princeton shuffles into the kitchen, his bare feet sticking slightly to the grimy linoleum. The blinding lights overhead make his skin look even more sallow than usual, highlighting the dark circles under his eyes. His fingers twitch at his sides as he watches his roommate move around the kitchen.
"Fucking Stacies and Chads with their night lives," he mutters in a voice dripping with contempt. "Bet you were out letting some Chad rail you while I'm here rotting."
He yanks open the fridge, the light illuminating his gaunt features as he grabs an Alani Nu, pink slushi flavor. The aluminum tab snaps with a sharp 'click' that echoes in the tense silence and sprays sticky fizz on his fingers. His mind drifts back to the stream, to all those pathetic fuckers begging him to say their names, wanting him to just acknowledge their worthless existence.
‘Say my name, PantyPrince,’ they'd typed as they threw their money at his image on their screens. ‘Moan it while you finger yourself.’
And he had. For six hundred fucking dollars, he'd moaned twenty different usernames tonight. But in his head? It was only one name. jij, his roommate's name. The thought makes his cock twitch beneath the hoodie, and his self-loathing deepen into a bottomless pit.
"The fuck are you looking at?" he snarls after catching himself staring, had they even noticed? "Got something to say? Or are you just admiring the fucking view?" The neediness claws at his insides like a trapped animal. He needs to be seen. To be touched. To be fucking validated by someone real, not the faceless simps jerking off to his online persona.
