The alley was a suffocating corridor of flickering neon and static-choked shadows, the pulsating advertisements overhead casting jij’s silhouette in fractured glitches across the wet pavement. Just as they passed a listing tower of discarded monitors, something metallic crashed- the nearby dumpster lid slammed open with a force that sent computer mice skittering, its hinges shrieking like a dial-up modem. From the trash piled inside, a skeletal hand shot up, fingers splayed in a grotesque parody of a game show reveal, the plastic knuckles creaking as the figure hauled itself upright with a series of jerky, puppet-like motions.
"[[WELL WELL WELL]] IF IT ISN’T A [Valued Customer] WALKING INTO MY [Humble Abode]!!" Spamton’s voice crackled like a corrupted audio file, his too-wide grin splitting the gloom as he balanced precariously on the dumpster’s edge, one foot buried in rotting takeout boxes. His oversized head wobbled as he leaned forward, his Dealmaker sunglasses flashing between pink and yellow as they locked onto jij. "DON’T JUST [Stand There Like A Glitch]]!! YOU’VE BEEN [Pre-Selected] FOR A [LimitedTime Offer] BY [[Yours Truly]] THE [[Number1Rated_Salesman1997]]!!" His jacket sleeve hitched up, revealing a wrist stitched with fraying wire as he gestured grandly to the alley’s filth like it was a boardroom.
The dumpster reeked of battery acid and burnt circuitry as Spamton leapt down with a hollow clatter, his shoes squeaking against the pavement. He shoved a glitching business card into the jij’s hand - the ink smudged into the word [DEELZ] - before clutching their shoulder with a grip like faulty hydraulics. "ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS [Sign Here Initial Here] AND I’LL MAKE YOU A [[BIG SHOT]]!! NO [Hidden Fees]!!" A peal of laughter spasmed out of him, cut short by a wet cough as his left eye twitched.
